Relationships
Relationships are so complex. I've been talking to a lot of people about or reading journals about relationships. About half are people in relationships that don't really meet their needs or somehow leave them wanting. Some stay, some contemplate leaving. The other half are looking and some are looking desperately. Some are not really "looking" but would love to be with someone who loves them.
I don't know about anyone else but I have such conflicts about who I think would be right for me. In part, I just want to be around people - yes people - who I like/love/find sympatico, whatever and not worry about whether they stay or go or what they do when they aren't with me. But I also want to feel safe and secure in their love, to know that they will keep coming back to me and want to partake of what our interaction can offer us both. Yet I also want the excitement, the danger of the "difficult" man, silly of course because that man would make me crazy.
I want to be loved, but not so loved as to be consumed. I want someone to adore me, but be secure enough to let me adore him back in my own way and time.
I want someone to be vitally interested in who I am but not so invested in it that I threaten him. I want to feel at times that primal pull of wanting to please him, but then I also want to be free of him when I need to be in order to be and do other things in the world.
Relationships are complicated and particularly so in those of us with contradictory desires and needs. One friend said it like this - its a dance, dynamic, not to be set forth in stone but mutable, flowing like a river. I said, well like a river, sometimes you end up in deep fast water, sometimes in quiet pools and sometimes hung up on a rock.
When you end up in a stagnant backwater its probably time to start paddling though.
_________
Funny how all my allegories seem to involve water - why is that?
I don't know about anyone else but I have such conflicts about who I think would be right for me. In part, I just want to be around people - yes people - who I like/love/find sympatico, whatever and not worry about whether they stay or go or what they do when they aren't with me. But I also want to feel safe and secure in their love, to know that they will keep coming back to me and want to partake of what our interaction can offer us both. Yet I also want the excitement, the danger of the "difficult" man, silly of course because that man would make me crazy.
I want to be loved, but not so loved as to be consumed. I want someone to adore me, but be secure enough to let me adore him back in my own way and time.
I want someone to be vitally interested in who I am but not so invested in it that I threaten him. I want to feel at times that primal pull of wanting to please him, but then I also want to be free of him when I need to be in order to be and do other things in the world.
Relationships are complicated and particularly so in those of us with contradictory desires and needs. One friend said it like this - its a dance, dynamic, not to be set forth in stone but mutable, flowing like a river. I said, well like a river, sometimes you end up in deep fast water, sometimes in quiet pools and sometimes hung up on a rock.
When you end up in a stagnant backwater its probably time to start paddling though.
_________
Funny how all my allegories seem to involve water - why is that?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home